We think of this as the “cleanest breath in the county” audition! His name was Terry and he seemed to be ideal for the job. He had a part time job, his own place and a car! He returned our first call and sounded eager and professional.
We quickly scheduled a time to get together. He was very flexible and appeared eager to please us. He even asked if he should prepare for any specific songs and asked some very good, knowledgeable questions regarding the direction of the project. He had played in a variety of bands over the last few years, had very good gear and looked the part of a Rocker! Long, blond locks of hair framed his youngish and, according to Gloria, cute face. He was tall and slim, energetic, if a little wired looking. As we set up he twice excused himself briefly to visit the bathroom. He happily accepted the offer of a cold beer, and then we ran through a couple of tunes. His bass playing was very good. Terry knew his way around a fret board that much was apparent. He was not much of a singer, but made no pretense about it. We made it through two short sections of music before he, for the third time now, excused himself and visited Gloria’s guest bathroom again. He had finished the initial bottle of beer and was about finished with the second one so my thought was he must have a bladder the size of a pea!
When he returned we played a couple more songs and then settled back in the living room chairs and on the sofa to ask him some questions and discuss our plans with him. We wanted to make sure that, if we chose him, he would be on the same page with us. I know it sounds very much like a cliché but questions like “who influenced your playing?” and “how often can you rehearse?” are all part of the process. Just a few minutes into a pleasant chat he asked to be excused again and finally I just asked him if he had a weak bladder or something. I made a bit of a joke about it though by asking “how ya’ going to play a complete set on stage when you have to run to the bathroom every ten minutes?” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled coyly. ”Sorry, but I need to brush my teeth real quick” he replied, “I had some work done on them recently I’ll be right back!”
Gloria and I looked at each other as he removed a toothbrush and a huge bottle of Listerine mouthwash from his gig bag and headed down the hall to the bathroom. She smiled over at me and remarked how nasty she thought that particular brand of mouthwash tasted compared to the brand she kept in the house.
A few minutes later Terry returned, relaxed on the couch and with a big smile asked if the audition was over and what we thought.
I have to admit, we were impressed. Me mostly by his playing, Gloria by his playing and his looks I think!
It turns out it was a good thing that we had already, before we ever held the first auditions, decided to always wait 24 hours before making a commitment to a perspective new band member.
We told Terry just that and he agreed with that concept. The blond bass player quickly and professionally stored his gear in the back of his car, shook our hands and drove off into the warm summer night. Terry, the blond Rock and Roll angel, seemed like a great choice and Gloria and I began discussing him immediately.
My series of Cokes finally demanded release and I excused myself to go to the bathroom with the understanding that a decision had probably already been made.
As I walked into the bathroom the first thing that caught my eye was the large bottle of Listerine standing on the sink. Terry must have forgotten it. It took a moment for me to realize that the bottle that had been full, when we saw him carry it into the john, was now virtually empty! Did he pour it out or spill it? Nobody could gargle that much! There is not enough bad breath, plaque and Gingivitis on the block to use up a 1.5 liter bottle of original Listerine mouthwash in one setting! For my non metric speaking friends that is 1Qt & 1Pt and 2.7oz of nasty tasting crap! I took the bottle and debated on throwing it into the trash when, “holy ADA!” I spotted three little bottles of Vanilla Mint Listerine in the trashcan. Emptied to the last drop! I gingerly picked them out of the otherwise fairly empty trashcan and carried all 4 bottles into the living room.
It was clear to me now why Terry had visited the bathroom so frequently. He was drinking the mouthwash like Scotch or whiskey or whatever his choice of liquor may be when he had the money to buy the much more expensive liquor. It took me a while to convince my partner that Terry, the clean breath blond angel was not the right one for our new band either!
I will give him a lot of credit though! When I called him and told him we would keep looking he asked me why. I told him the truth. He returned the courtesy, and, we had made the right choice. Turns out he did have a drinking issue and when he was low on cash, or, needed to maintain for a short period of time, he would stop by at his local Wal-Mart to purchase a couple multi packs of Listerine to tide him over. Gloria was right…he looked and sounded good for the part. But, most importantly, he had really clean breath!
We quickly scheduled a time to get together. He was very flexible and appeared eager to please us. He even asked if he should prepare for any specific songs and asked some very good, knowledgeable questions regarding the direction of the project. He had played in a variety of bands over the last few years, had very good gear and looked the part of a Rocker! Long, blond locks of hair framed his youngish and, according to Gloria, cute face. He was tall and slim, energetic, if a little wired looking. As we set up he twice excused himself briefly to visit the bathroom. He happily accepted the offer of a cold beer, and then we ran through a couple of tunes. His bass playing was very good. Terry knew his way around a fret board that much was apparent. He was not much of a singer, but made no pretense about it. We made it through two short sections of music before he, for the third time now, excused himself and visited Gloria’s guest bathroom again. He had finished the initial bottle of beer and was about finished with the second one so my thought was he must have a bladder the size of a pea!
When he returned we played a couple more songs and then settled back in the living room chairs and on the sofa to ask him some questions and discuss our plans with him. We wanted to make sure that, if we chose him, he would be on the same page with us. I know it sounds very much like a cliché but questions like “who influenced your playing?” and “how often can you rehearse?” are all part of the process. Just a few minutes into a pleasant chat he asked to be excused again and finally I just asked him if he had a weak bladder or something. I made a bit of a joke about it though by asking “how ya’ going to play a complete set on stage when you have to run to the bathroom every ten minutes?” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled coyly. ”Sorry, but I need to brush my teeth real quick” he replied, “I had some work done on them recently I’ll be right back!”
Gloria and I looked at each other as he removed a toothbrush and a huge bottle of Listerine mouthwash from his gig bag and headed down the hall to the bathroom. She smiled over at me and remarked how nasty she thought that particular brand of mouthwash tasted compared to the brand she kept in the house.
A few minutes later Terry returned, relaxed on the couch and with a big smile asked if the audition was over and what we thought.
I have to admit, we were impressed. Me mostly by his playing, Gloria by his playing and his looks I think!
It turns out it was a good thing that we had already, before we ever held the first auditions, decided to always wait 24 hours before making a commitment to a perspective new band member.
We told Terry just that and he agreed with that concept. The blond bass player quickly and professionally stored his gear in the back of his car, shook our hands and drove off into the warm summer night. Terry, the blond Rock and Roll angel, seemed like a great choice and Gloria and I began discussing him immediately.
My series of Cokes finally demanded release and I excused myself to go to the bathroom with the understanding that a decision had probably already been made.
As I walked into the bathroom the first thing that caught my eye was the large bottle of Listerine standing on the sink. Terry must have forgotten it. It took a moment for me to realize that the bottle that had been full, when we saw him carry it into the john, was now virtually empty! Did he pour it out or spill it? Nobody could gargle that much! There is not enough bad breath, plaque and Gingivitis on the block to use up a 1.5 liter bottle of original Listerine mouthwash in one setting! For my non metric speaking friends that is 1Qt & 1Pt and 2.7oz of nasty tasting crap! I took the bottle and debated on throwing it into the trash when, “holy ADA!” I spotted three little bottles of Vanilla Mint Listerine in the trashcan. Emptied to the last drop! I gingerly picked them out of the otherwise fairly empty trashcan and carried all 4 bottles into the living room.
It was clear to me now why Terry had visited the bathroom so frequently. He was drinking the mouthwash like Scotch or whiskey or whatever his choice of liquor may be when he had the money to buy the much more expensive liquor. It took me a while to convince my partner that Terry, the clean breath blond angel was not the right one for our new band either!
I will give him a lot of credit though! When I called him and told him we would keep looking he asked me why. I told him the truth. He returned the courtesy, and, we had made the right choice. Turns out he did have a drinking issue and when he was low on cash, or, needed to maintain for a short period of time, he would stop by at his local Wal-Mart to purchase a couple multi packs of Listerine to tide him over. Gloria was right…he looked and sounded good for the part. But, most importantly, he had really clean breath!
Another one bit the dust! But, the phone kept ringing.
Damn, thats a crazy story hahahaha.
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